Week Ending 3/1

Hey, it's me...

OK, so this was a big, big week. Lots of stuff going on, too much really to talk about.

First, I want to briefly address current events. Yesterday, President Trump launched unauthorized, elective attacks on Iran. In my view, this is a man-child who thinks he is playing live action Call of Duty and is destroying real lives and potentially destabilizing the entire world because he wants to distract people from his corruption, his failed foreign policy, his failed economic policy, his failed domestic policy and his involvement with Epstein. That's all I have to say on the matter today. More to come.

Moving on to my own life, the last couple of weeks have been rough. I've been trying out various new cholesterol medications, all of which cause muscle pain. I haven't been able to sleep well. I've been overwhelmed, exhausted, stressed and generally messed up.

So, my doctor and I decided to try another new medication and see if that's any better. However, due to a slight insurance hiccup, there was a delay in getting the new meds. So, I decided for a variety of reasons to stop taking the old meds and let my system clear out before starting the next one.

Let me just say... Oh. My. Gods! I feel so much better. The pain is gone. I have been sleeping through the night. What's more, I am thinking more clearly than I feel like I have in weeks. One of the other side effects turned out to mental confusion and memory issues. I didn't even realize I was having them! (Which can be understood given my, you know... mental confusion and memory issues from the post-COVID.) 

I honestly don't want to try the new medication and I haven't yet. I will though. Just not today.

But wait, there's more. 

I also had my first eye doctor appointment in several years. My last attempt, a year or two ago, was abandoned when I crashed and had to leave before the doctor even got to me. This time, we planned better. We had the second appointment of the morning. We brought the wheelchair, so I didn't have to do all the walking around. We explained my health issues to the staff, so they knew. Plus, I was feeling great (see above). So, I actually managed to get my vision checked and new glasses picked out. They wanted to dilate my eyes and do a couple more things. We tried. 

I fell asleep. 

Literally. I fell asleep in the doctors office and woke up in the car on the way home. I vaguely remember the doctor helping J wheel me out to the car.

It's good really. I feel so much better being off the bad meds but I am not actually Better. 

So, yeah, big week. Resting now.

Onward.

Week Ending 2/22

Hey, it's me...

I don't know. This week just feels like it's been rough. Still having trouble with waking up too early. Muscle aches are bothering me. 

Last couple of days, I've been feeling really overwhelmed. Like sensory overload, driving me toward wanting to scream and throw things, which I can't do... and then the effort of holding back just makes me even more overwhelmed.

On the positive side, I've managed to get a fair bit of writing done on Wyrd Tales and I've carved out time to paint minis. The good/bad of that is that I have goals for both of those things and that adds to the sense of being overwhelmed. No matter how much I do, I still haven't hit those goals yet. I need to back off and give myself some grace. They're hobbies, not obligations.

Yeah, all in all, not a great week. I feel like I'm trying very hard not to fly apart, which I could do at any moment. 

Breathe. Just breathe. 

I can do this.

Onward

Week Ending 2/15

Hey, it's me...

This has been a rough week. I couldn't seem to get a full nights sleep. I kept waking up way too early... like 4:00 or 5:00 in the morning. On the one hand, I had a couple of days where I managed to get things done despite getting up so early, but for the most part I've just had a lot of really tired days. Today is really the first day I managed to get a good nights sleep and wake up at a reasonable hour, so that's a positive sign. 

Not much else to report. I've been watching Outer Limits and surfing the internet. (Do people still 'surf the 'net'? Is that a thing?) 

Anyway, quiet week. Hopefully I'll sleep better next week.

Onward

Week Ending 2/8

Hey, it's me...

Not much to report this week. The vaporizer is helping me sleep, so that's good.

Other than that, I discovered The Outer Limits on streaming, so I've been binge watching old episodes of deeply weird sci-fi.

Finally, J and I managed to get in a game of Age of Sigmar this weekend. 

All in all, not a lot to report but a decent enough week.

Onward

Week Ending 2/1

Hey, it's me...

So, let's see... the winter storm has come and gone (for now at least). We got a lot of snow, which shut down the roads around here for a couple of days. My guys were stuck in the house for the front half of the week, which I think threw off any hope of me or the cats figuring out this semester's schedule for a while yet. Otherwise, we weren't hit that hard honestly (touch wood). The power stayed on. We have heat, phones and internet.

On the downside, I am having a hell of a time sleeping. I think the light bouncing off the snow (we still have mountains of snow) and the dry air are ganging up on me. I sleep for about an hour and a half and then get up, have a big drink of water and have to get back to sleep again. So, I've been even more, more exhausted then usual. The muscle aches from the new meds don't help either.

Last night, J set up a humidified in my room which I think helped me sleep a little better.

I'm also realizing that I've been stressing out about things and I need to put them down again. As I write this, I find myself thinking that I had so many things to deal with around mom's passing that I got used to dealing with things. I know it's been months since the memorial. It's all pretty much done. I think I might just be flailing around looking for the things I "need to do next." There aren't any. J has been running the household successfully for years now. She doesn't need me bugging her. 

I just need to put that weight down again and focus on my health.

I can do that.

Onward

Week Ending 1/25

 Hey, it's me...

Quiet week really. I started some new medication for my cholesterol, which I think is causing muscle aches. That's one of the possible side effects and I have been feeling achy. Fortunately, it just encourages to keep up with my chair-yoga because that helps. 

I built a couple of minis. I really need to remember to take some pictures of my new painted ones and post them on here. I should make a note for myself... brain like a sieve. 

Of course, the big news is the huge winter storm. Actually, here... it's snow. I mean, it's not a minor amount of snow. I'm not sure how much but it's up to the bumper on J's van. So maybe 8"-12" ... it's certainly enough that Vermont road crews would be working overtime. Indiana road crews have declared a state of emergency and essentially closed the county. Nice weather for the guy who doesn't have to go outside. 

The snow looks pretty. The power is still on (touch wood), so we have things like heat, light and the ability to cook... plus internet and phones. 

We're OK (again, touch wood).

Onward

Week Ending 1/18

Hey, it's me...

So, big news of this week... doctor's appointment with a new doctor.

I'm sure I've mentioned that my much appreciated old doctor retired and I got a new doctor. Looking back over recent posts, a couple weeks ago I mentioned that I was unhappy with said new doctor because he wasn't seeing me as often as I felt I needed to be seen.

Well, I finally decided to do something about it. I called the doctors office and made a new appointment for this past week. I was still angry with the new doctor but I decided I wanted to give him one more chance, to prove he could get it right. That lasted a couple of days, with me still being angry with him, until I finally sat down and talked things out with J. I realized that, no, I didn't really have to give him a second chance especially since the way I felt, I was just going to yell at him and change doctors anyway. So I called the office again and changed doctors. They didn't argue or debate me about it. They just did it... and they made sure my appointment with the new doctor was the same day. 

So, on Friday I saw my new new doctor. He looked over my records and paid attention to them. He asked a lot of questions and listened to my answers. He scheduled a ridiculous number of tests, making it clear that he really wants to understand what's going on with me and develop an informed plan of care. 

I like him. He annoyed me, but I like him. Knock wood, fingers crossed, this one might actually work out. (Knock wood again)

So, that was pretty much the week and probably next. I got really worn out after that appointment and I'm resting now.

Onward