Conan the Barbarian (2011)

Hey, it's your roving movie reviewer, back after who knows how long...

I just have to talk to you about the movie I watched today - Conan the Barbarian (2011) with Jason Momoa. I watched this on streaming because, well, I was tired and needed some mindless entertainment. This looked promising for that. 

I can say, it lived up to that promise. :)

Honestly, if this movie had been one of those cheap '80s Conan knock-offs that a lot of men of my generation are embarrassed to admit we enjoyed, it would have been a pretty good one. It's got the big, strong guy with a loincloth and a sword who spends most of the movie hitting people. It's got the pretty girl, who's bare breasts you do get to see in the obligatory sex scene. It's got enough incidental bare breasts to solidly lock in the young adult male audience. It's got a creepy evil sorceress and a scenery chewing villain. It even has a vague semblance of a plot, engaging enough to drive the action while simple enough so you don't really have to think about it.

In short, it's a basic, cheesy sword and sorcerer flick. If it had come out in the '80s it probably would done OK in theaters and spend the rest of the decade being played nightly on Cinemax. 

Unfortunately, it came out in 2011 and so missed it's target audience by about three decades. According to Wikipedia, the movie's own director is horribly unhappy with it and considers it's sole saving grace the fact that it did not tank Jason Momoa's career. Honestly, on that score I think it might actually have helped him... if only by proving conclusively that you can't just give him a loincloth and a sword and expect success.

Still, if you're looking for a mindless guilty pleasure to kill a couple of hours with, you could do far worse.