Matrix Resurrections

 OK, when I first heard they had made a new Matrix movie my first question was: How, Neo and Trinity are dead? My second was: Why?

 Interestingly, it seems that answering these two questions is basically the plot of this movie. Along the way, it also pokes fun at the very idea of the movie itself in an remarkably "meta" way.

 Strangely, I would really like to say it does these things successfully and I will say that I loved the ending of this movie. Absolutely loved it. 

 Sadly, I found the road to get there less satisfying. 

 Matrix Resurrections is trying to accomplish a lot. Even with nearly two and half hours running time (the longest Matrix movie to date, according to the internet) it still feels rushed. Many new characters and concepts are introduced but never really explored or developed. Many old characters return, some surprisingly, some thrillingly, some just for the sake of comedy I think. Sadly, one was recast (scheduling conflicts says the internet) and it doesn't work well.

 I did enjoy the movie. I do think it's worth sitting through, if only for the ending... but I find myself hoping it is the end. 

 We didn't really need to return to the Matrix, but I'm glad we did and like were we ended up.

Reality Check

 Putting this up here to keep myself honest... reality check time:

9:00AM - wake up

 Play the Sims, putter around on the internet a little

10:00AM - I feel fine. I can totally handle going back to work, at least half time.

Putter around on the internet a little more, pace around the living room for a bit trying to sketch up a new 40K Ork army list.

11:00AM - My lips are numb, the tip of nose is numb, my arms and legs ache and I have a headache. 

I am not fine. I am very, very not fine.

This sucks!

Week 25 and Joyous Yule

Joyous Yuletide Season and Happy New Year folks.

Let me just say, being sick over the holidays sucks! I am having a bad couple of days, perfectly timed to interfere with Yule (that's Christmas for Neo-Pagans) and my wife's birthday. I'm pretty good when I first wake up, but I've burned out by 10am yesterday and today. 

I think I can lay part of the blame of the weather. My body is never happy when the weather does sudden, drastic changes and we went from 20's and 30's to 60's and 70's in the past few days. Seriously, 70 on Christmas? I hate this.

I should also lay part of the blame at my own feet. I've been pushing myself again (anyone sensing a theme here?). I have this idea that I can/should/need to be well enough to go back to work at least part time next mouth (which is to say next week) so I've been driving myself to prove it. I'll give you three guesses how successful that's been.

So, I feel rotten physically. I feel rotten because I can't enjoy the holidays. I feel rotten because I can't make the holidays special for my family or her birthday special for my wife. I feel rotten because I want to be better enough to get back to work (and I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose my job soon if I don't) and I'm really not. 

 Also, anyone who absolutely promises you that your mail order gifts will arrive by Christmas is lying, either to you or themselves. 

 In short, this hasn't been the best'est winter holiday season ever... but in fairness, it hasn't been completely horrible.

Week 24

 Well, at the risk of repeating myself, that did not go according to plan.

I spent four days last week trying to deal with my wretched health insurance company, the wretched HR department and the doctor's office. I spent the other three days recovering. Last night, I was so tired that I could not for the life of me remember Keanu Reeves' name.

I think my best bad day last week was Thursday. I was convinced I was doing pretty well. I felt good. I could handle things. When the day ended, I was tired and ready to lay down but I thought I'd had a good run of it... until I looked at the clock and discovered that the day had "ended" at 1:20pm.

All in all, that was a been a bad week and this one is not off to a good start.

Disney's Jungle Cruise (the movie)

 Have you ever wondered what it be look like if someone intentionally created a movie combining The African Queen and Pirates of the Caribbean with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in the role of Humphrey Bogart/Johnny Depp? 

No?

Neither had I. 

Yet, someone did and this movie is the result. 

To be fair, I personally think that Dwayne Johnson is actually very good. Emily Blunt does an equally good job with the role of a Victorian female adventuress and Jack Whitehall is a sketch as her clueless brother/assistant (even if both roles do seem to generally be lifted more or less from The Mummy).

In the end nothing in the movie is particular original and very little is surprising (The parts that did surprise me probably did only because I never bothered to pay any attention to trailers for it). Regretfully, there is no real chemistry between Blunt and Johnson, so the inevitable romantic subplot between them feels unearned, out of place and frankly unnecessary. Still, I found the movie to be a fun way to spend a couple of hours.

... and I crashed

 Why is it every time I think I'm doing better, I end up falling on my face?

OK, I'll admit spending around three hours waging war via phone and email with the insurance company, HR and my doctor doesn't actually constitute Rest... especially after not really getting a good nights sleep... but honestly, did I have to completely collapse an hour later?

Evidently the answer is yes.

It is also worth wondering why it is I feel "completely fine" when I'm stressed out, angry and running around dealing with a crisis. Is it possible that my sense of "fine" is, in actual fact, horribly unhealthy and not even remotely "fine" in any objective sense?

Insurance

 I call on 12/1 to check the status of my claim... oh they need some additional supporting documentation from the doctor. No problem.

12/3, uh guys, the doctor says you haven't actually asked them for anything. You don't know why? How very odd. 

12/8, the doctor still hasn't gotten any request from you. Oh, now you need me to fill out a new form? Sure, send me the form and hold on the line. I'll fill it out and send it right back.

12/13, so you got that form right? Oh,now you're telling me that you sent me the wrong form and you need a different one. Send me the form and hold on the line. I'll fill it out and send it right back. By the way, the doctor sent you everything you could possibly want last week. You don't have it? How very odd.

... you will all forgive me if I find myself with the sense that they're behavior is not entirely above board.

Week 23

 Well, this isn't going well. 

OK, so I am so bloody sick of being sick, I decided that I'm done. I decided that I was going to get better and go back to work next month, by pure force of will. That went about as well as you would expect. I bullied my way through Tuesday, crashed on Wednesday, burned on Thursday and by Friday accepted that I was a total idiot. 

So, yeah, I can't make myself better by pure force of will. 

The good news that almost got missed due to my stupidity is that I managed to take a shower and not feel worse for it. That may not sound like much, but it's actually huge progress. The simple things are actually becoming possible again.

I don't want to jinx anything but I might be getting better without needing to act like an idiot.

Fingers crossed

Week 22

For those new to the story, this is my 22nd week of being out sick. What started as bronchitis became Epstein Barr (which is evidently what they call Mono when you're over 40) and I've been down for the count.

 Today was my monthly visit to the doctor. She is not happy that I am not better yet. She's in good company because I am not happy about it either. I was somewhat looking forward to complaining about returning to work just in time for the holidays (OK, not really but I've been sick so long I do actually want to get back to work.) 

Unfortunately, I still feel like crap. Somewhat less like crap than even last week, but still pretty back. The worst part is that it's hard to tell. When I'm running on stress and adrenaline I feel almost normal... until I crash and then I crash hard. I still can't take a shower without needing to lay down afterward, so that's probably my defining metric. The good news, the length of time I need to lay down for is getting shorter.

On of my coworkers, in the early days of the pandemic, kept insisting that 2021 would be better. He has apologized to me repeatedly for the depth of his error. 

Zack Snyder's Justice League

Oh my gods, pick a tone.

 I really need to stop watching DC movies. Juno and David go to Evansville and I end up putting on a DC movie as something to fill the silence. Batman V Superman was three hours of alternating misery and boredom. You would think I would have learned from that... but no, I didn't. I decided to give Justice League a try. Even after I saw it was four hours long, I decided to at least put it on and paint some minis while it played. I could always stop it, I told myself.

 Four hours of an inconsistent, overly drawn out movie that even I found to overly melodramatic at times. This is a movie desperately in need to editing for pacing, music and just tone. It's like the director couldn't decide what kind of movie he was making, so he made several and cut them together. 

I'll say this... after watching Justice League and Batman V Superman before it I am even more impressed by Wonder Woman. 

Star Trek: Discovery

 I've had kind of mixed feelings about Star Trek: Discovery since it first came out. I wasn't really pleased with the first season, enjoyed the second and the third. Overall, I've found it enjoyable enough keep watching. 

This is probably why, while I had every intention of watching the new season eventually, I didn't jump on the first episodes as soon as they came out. I figured they'd be there (the beauty of streaming) and I'd get to them but I was in no rush... until I saw some posts of social media.

It seems Discovery is really pissing off middle-aged straight white men. When I shared that with Juno, we both agree that we had to start watching right way. 

Episode one down. Still not sure how I feel about it but that's OK. We're going to ration it out, watch an episode a week unless it really excites us into watching more. 

So, let's hear it for the negative opinions of middle-aged white men. What better endorsement that something is probably at least worth a look?

Fresh Start

Well, it seems my old blog is lost... eaten by time and my completely inability to figure out how to get the idiot's at Google to let me log back into it. I guess that's a good thing in the end. I hadn't posted on it in several years and it's a little out of date.

 So, a fresh start...

This is going to be a place to share thoughts and ideas, as they come to me... largely because I'm fed up with that ever popular social media site. So, I think I'm going to try to my this my new outlet.

If you don't know me, and don't know anything about me, this is probably going to be pretty boring for you. I don't apologize for that. For now, just seeing how this works. More later...