Hey it's me...
Quiet week really. Not much going on, especially after last weeks excitement. Mostly just playing Sims and doing a little painting.
Only down side is my jaw has been bothering me when I chew. I don't think it's my teeth, but the muscles. Not too worried about it yet.
So, yeah, quiet week.
Onward
Hey, it's me...
A generally quite week that ended on a much too exciting note.
Most of the week was kind of up and down. I had trouble sleeping, so I was either overtried or so well rested (having really solidly slept to make up for a night of not sleeping) that I overdid it. But I got a lot of painting done.
However, the way-too-much-excitement came Friday. Friday morning, J asks me if I've seen her cat anywhere. I hadn't. She usually sleeps with J at night and then checks on me in the morning before checking on the ritual morning filling for her food dish. She did none of those things and J was getting worried.
We discussed the last time we'd seen her, the night before, and agreed that it was extremely unlikely she had gotten outside. (No one went outside after we'd seen her and she's afraid of Outside anyway... unlike Hippy, she wouldn't dash out an opened door.) I figured she was just hold up in a cozy spot and would come out when she was ready. I was wrong.
J and D left for work, after D suggesting that the cat might have gotten closed in the garage, since that door had been open. It wasn't Outside, so it was possible. I still figured she would come out when she was ready. I told them I would text when I saw her.
Two hours later, I hadn't seen her and now I was worried. D started texting me, asking for updates and sharing dread theories that the cat had somehow injured herself and was hiding in some secret spot, waiting to die. By this point, I was already worried. Worse, Hippy was clearly also worried... wandering around and meowing as if calling out to her missing roommate.
So, I started searching. I checked all the closets. I checked all the little hiding places I knew the cat had used in the past. I checked under all the beds. By the time I was checking downstairs, Hippy was with me and actually helped me search. I'm serious. That big cat searched under D's bed and in the closets and hiding places she knew downstairs. I even checked the garage, but it's filled with piles of boxes and other things and I could only move the first layer. Eventually, worn out, I went back upstairs and rested.
Then, an hour or so later and having caught my breath I searched again. Then, an hour or so after that, I searched again. Repeat until D, having finished work and unable to sit still dragged his mother out of her office.
By this point, I was fairly confident I had eliminated all but three spots. She was either in the garage, inside the couch (it has a rip in it and it's not impossible the little idiot could have gotten inside) or, against all reason, she'd gotten outside.
Unwilling to started by ripping up our couch, J and D started in the garage.
They found her in the furthest corner, clinging in terror to some camping equipment. Once brought back "inside" the little idiot, covered in dust, came trotting into my room as if to say "you won't believe what happened to me." She then trotted around, making sure the house was where she'd left it and then curled up in my lap and went to sleep.
I figure I'll be sore of a while after, but the cat's fine. (touch wood)
Too much excitement. Ah, well...
Onward
Hey, it's me...
I was worn out yesterday, and I wanted to be clear headed (ish) when I wrote this, which is why this is late.
So, this past week was my birthday. It was a difficult one, because this is my first birthday without mom. Every year, she'd call me on the morning of my birthday and tell me the stories about the day I was born. It was a thing we always did. Honestly, I remember being a little bored with it at times... every year the same stories. What I wouldn't give to hear those stories again.
I'm trying to remember them now, and the damn brain fog is getting in my way.
I remember she would always say - it was a bright, crisp Fall day and the leaves were just starting to turn.
I remember - when she got to the hospital, there were a lot of ladies giving birth that day. Mom spotted one of the women who had a few kids already and clearly knew exactly what she was doing. So, mom kept her eyes on her and did what she did.
I remember - my dad had read somewhere that babies could see bright colors, so he wore a bright (I think red) shirt, so that I could see him.
I remember - Just after I was born, mom looked at me and asked - "Is my baby supposed to be blue?" The nurses rushed over and hustled me into an incubator. Mind you, I wasn't a preemie... I was just cold. I was, by all accounts, actually really big. They put me in this incubator to warm me up and I was bumping knees and elbows against the sides of thing. (I wonder if that's why I don't like really close spaces to this day.)
But my favorite story is this - After all the fuss, mom and I were settled into the recovery room. I was all bundled up and we were both pretty worn out. I was, in the opinion of the nurses, supposed to be nursing, but I wouldn't latch on because I kept dozing off. The nurses got worried and, eventually, the Stern Nurse was called in. She took one look at me and said - "Of course he's falling asleep. He's too comfortable." She stripped off the layers of blankets I was wrapped in, pinched my foot and got me nursing... until I started to doze again. The Stern Nurse just glared at me and I started suckling away like - "OK, OK, I'm doing it already."
Those are the stories I remember. I'm going to put them somewhere, so that every year I can pull them out and imagine mom telling me those stories again.
Every year.
I miss her.
Onward
Hey, it's me...
Feeling better today than I did this time last week, though not a whole lot... It been an up and down week.
I got a lot of writing done on Wyrd Tales. I'm very near the end of writing my current story that brings with it a drive to finish. I'm about 6 chapters ahead of what's published and maybe 2-3 chapters from the end. So, that's good...
On the down side, I've been having a lot of brain fog and I've been crashing hard. It's frustrating, especially having something I really want to do and not being able to do it.
In other news, we've been experimenting with artificial sweeteners, so I can have a little something sweet from time to time. We discovered monk fruit, which is pretty good. Juno was able to make a cheesecake with it that tasted very much like my old cheesecake. It was terrific to have it again.
Of course, there's a downside. It's that kind of week. Turns out this brand of monk fruit is mixed with something called erythritol, a sugar alcohol, which is fine expect that in some people (me) and in large enough quantities (like lots of cheesecake over the course of a week) it can cause some pretty nasty abdominal pain. Yesterday wasn't great. At the same time, once it wasn't horrible. I mean, yeah, I was in a lot of pain but I knew why and I knew I would get over it. So, despite the pain, I was actually feel pretty positive about life... which I haven't been for a while.
Honestly, I've been feeling really down lately. I'm just trying to keep going.
Onward
Hey, it's me...
I feel terrible today.
Pretty good week, actually, but I've been having trouble sleeping. It finally caught up with me today. So, I'm resting. More later.
Tomorrow will a better day.
Onward
Hey, it's me...
So, I don't talk a lot about current events, but this week is something mom and I would have talked about.
I could say a lot of things but after thinking about it, what I want to say is this - empathy is important and violence isn't the answer. Life isn't a video game and we can't just kill the bad guys.
I keep remembering a scene from 12 Angry Men...
.
mild spoilers
.
Toward the end of the movie, a racist juror goes off on an angry, racist rant. One by one, all the other jurors, even the ones who sided with him on the case, stand up and turn their backs on him. No one says a word. No one gets angry. They just stand up and turn away, until the racist realizes he's alone... no one agrees with him, no one will even listen to him. Finally, he just sinks down into his chair and goes silent. One by one, the jurors take their seats again and carry on, almost... but not quite... as if he had never spoken. Because they remember what he said, and they remember that they all rejected it.
.
end spoilers
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We did that once, as a society. We made being a racist, misogynistic, bigoted jerk socially unacceptable. We stood up, turned our backs and refused to listen. We set about building a better world instead.
Now, the racist, misogynistic, bigoted jerks have forced their way back. They demand our attention. They are working to tear down our better world.
We don't have to let them.
We can each work to make our corner of the world a fairer, kinder, and more loving place. We can refuse to let them shape who we are. We can continue to build our better world.
Onward
Hey, it's me...
So, after kind of a rough week, I finally realized that I just wasn't giving myself enough grace to recover from last week, which was really, really draining.
It's dumb, because intellectually I know that I need to give myself time to recover but in reality I just keep pushing and end up driving myself into the ground.
So, yeah, I finally decided to let myself rest and feel hugely better for it.
Another downside, I didn't have a chance to watch another movie with D this week. Though he did say he watched Kpop Demon Hunters on his own and really enjoyed it, so that's something.
We'll see if we can do better next week.
Onward
