Week Ending 10/5

 Hey, it's me...

I was worn out yesterday, and I wanted to be clear headed (ish) when I wrote this, which is why this is late. 

So, this past week was my birthday. It was a difficult one, because this is my first birthday without mom. Every year, she'd call me on the morning of my birthday and tell me the stories about the day I was born. It was a thing we always did. Honestly, I remember being a little bored with it at times... every year the same stories. What I wouldn't give to hear those stories again. 

I'm trying to remember them now, and the damn brain fog is getting in my way. 

I remember she would always say - it was a bright, crisp Fall day and the leaves were just starting to turn.

I remember - when she got to the hospital, there were a lot of ladies giving birth that day. Mom spotted one of the women who had a few kids already and clearly knew exactly what she was doing. So, mom kept her eyes on her and did what she did. 

I remember - my dad had read somewhere that babies could see bright colors, so he wore a bright (I think red) shirt, so that I could see him.

I remember - Just after I was born, mom looked at me and asked - "Is my baby supposed to be blue?" The nurses rushed over and hustled me into an incubator. Mind you, I wasn't a preemie... I was just cold. I was, by all accounts, actually really big. They put me in this incubator to warm me up and I was bumping knees and elbows against the sides of thing. (I wonder if that's why I don't like really close spaces to this day.)

But my favorite story is this - After all the fuss, mom and I were settled into the recovery room. I was all bundled up and we were both pretty worn out. I was, in the opinion of the nurses, supposed to be nursing, but I wouldn't latch on because I kept dozing off.  The nurses got worried and, eventually, the Stern Nurse was called in. She took one look at me and said - "Of course he's falling asleep. He's too comfortable." She stripped off the layers of blankets I was wrapped in, pinched my foot and got me nursing... until I started to doze again. The Stern Nurse just glared at me and I started suckling away like - "OK, OK, I'm doing it already."

Those are the stories I remember. I'm going to put them somewhere, so that every year I can pull them out and imagine mom telling me those stories again. 

Every year. 

I miss her.

Onward