Week Ending 12/17

 It's been an excited week. So exciting that I'm posting a day late, because I was pretty worn out yesterday.

So, let's see... posted the last chapters of Bad Moon Rising, which is exciting. Finished writing it a couple weeks ago, I've found publishing more than one chapter a day to not a great idea. So, happy to have that done and working on ideas for my next SimLit story.

The big excitement, however, is that we've had a guest this week. I don't want to go into too much detail today (on the same principle as it being a bad idea to post your vacation plans on social media) but we've had a family member visiting. 

On a purely personal note, this is really the first time we've had a long-term visitor around the house since I got sick. It's been an interesting experience, if not always a perfect one. I wear out fast and so can't spend as much time with our guest as I would like. Still, it's been so wonderful having them here. It's also been a learning experience for how to deal with my illness in a new situation. 

More on this later, but for now... I'm just really happy to have been able to have them here.

Onward

Week Ending 12/10

 Another week down... 

Let's see. I've finished writing Bad Moon Rising. I have three more chapters to post, which will go up next week. Being done, I've actually been just playing my Sims game for a little bit... partly to set up the next story arc and partly just for the fun of it. So, that's been nice.

Otherwise, it's been a pretty normal up and down week. Some good days, some bad days. I'm still wanting to do too much, it seems. One day in particular, I felt great all morning and got really ambitious... only to hit the wall hard at 11:00 AM. Well, at least I had the brains to stop at that point and rest. 

Yeah, all in all, it's been a week. I'll take it.

Onward.

Week Ending 12/3

 Well, let's see...

I got my COVID booster and flu shot this week and then spent most of the rest of week recovering from those. 

My mom's cancer surgery is scheduled. Juno's going to fly out for it, to help her out. Juno offered to go, even before I asked if she could, and we all love her just a little more for that. I'm stuck here and wouldn't really be able to help anyway. 

Is it odd that I mostly don't feel bad about that? I mean, I would totally fly out if I could, but I can't. It's just a fact, like I can't give my mom a million dollars, a new car and a nice house. It's just not something I'm capable of doing. No point in feeling bad about it.

Finally feeling better today from the whole COVID/flu shot thing. Managed to get some writing in. Bad Moon Rising is coming along nicely.

Still, more than a little worn out. Going to rest a bit. 

Onward

Week Ending 11/26

 Let me say... this week was head and shoulders above last week.

It helps that, being a food lover, I really enjoy Thanksgiving. Juno made us a lovely, moist and delicious turkey with her signature stuffing, fresh homemade rolls (which were so good we're trying to figure out how to make them regularly), a nice salad, terrific gravy... and that on top of the pies (one pecan and one pumpkin) and various other delicious baked good she made the night before. It was fantastic.

Yes, I am thankful for my wonderful wife. 

Of course, living a thousand miles from my nearest relatives is not having to have the storied uncomfortable Thanksgiving dinner with said relatives. That's a good and bad thing, I guess. 

The rest of the week was good too. I'm trying to find ways to sleep better and working on managing my expectations of myself more reasonably. I need to remember my own lessons from the early days of my illness - rest when tired, eat when hungry and, above all, take the wins and don't get hung up on the rest.

I dare say, it's good advice in general. :)

Onward

Week Ending 11/19

This is going to be terse. This week sucks. I'm exhausted and I feel horrible.

The people responsible for coming up with the business of medical billing should die screaming in a fire and then burn in hell.

Cancer sucks. Not me, not my immediate household, but someone I care about deeply. Cancer Fucking Sucks.

I'm exhausted and in pain. 

I am loved. 

There is hope. 

They caught the cancer early. 

Also, The Good Place (2016 comedy series currently on Netflix) is really funny... and the people responsible for coming up with medical billing should totally go to The Bad Place. Still not getting over that one quickly.

Anyway...

Onward

Week Ending 11/12

 Difficult end to a difficult week...

I started the week out with a confusing medical bill, not sleeping because I was stressed about it and burning through energy I didn't have making phone calls to figure it out. In the end, it's a real bill but a completely messed up and confusing billing... a point almost everyone I spoke with agreed upon.

Having settled that, I sent the rest of week in bed, or otherwise laying down, trying to recover from that drama. 

The real problem there is that there was stuff I wanted to do. Not stuff I had to do. No obligations or commitments... just, damn it, I had things I wanted to do! The inability to do any of them is frustrating and, of course, that didn't help with the whole "resting" plan.

Which brings us to the (pardon my French) shit-show that was today. Finally feeling well enough to actually try and do some of things I wanted to do, instead absolutely everything went wrong. 

The real issue is that my condition appears to have destroyed my emotional control. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I could make no claim to Vulcan emotional discipline at the best of times. However, these days I burst into tears at sad parts of TV shows... and unfortunately, when I'm frustrated and angry, I can get really, really angry. 

The best that can be said was that I stopped what I was doing, locked myself in the den and did my best (with reasonable success) not to take out my anger on my family or inanimate objects. I still want to smash just about everything in my line of sight, but I'm handling it.

So, yeah... bad week. 

Still, tomorrow is a better day.

Onward

Week Ending 11/5

Another week down... 

Halloween is a special time for me. 

Twelve years ago, on Halloween night, my Grampa Ted passed away. He had had a long life and had been ill for some time. That night, when the Veil was thin, he fell asleep and never woke. I think of him often. He was a quiet, gentle man who did wood carving. That's how I think of him... quietly sitting on the porch of his house in the country, carving something amazing out of a bit of wood. He is a presence, like the mountain the rises behind the house, strong, quiet and constant... peaceful, gentle and loving. Twelve years ago, he stepped across the Veil, but that presence has never left me. 

Earlier this year, after a terrible injury, his wife, my beloved Gramma Cathy, finally joined him. She'd been terribly grumpy about having to wait so long. I miss her, but I know they are together and they are happy.

If Ted is the mountain, she is the garden... rich and green, with the smell of herbs and sunlight. 

They will always be with me.

Yeah, Halloween is special.

Onward