Week Ending 11/10

OK, let's talk about this week...

I'll be clear... I am not a supporter of Donald Trump. I think he's a dangerous, neo-fascist clown. I am strongly opposed to Christian Nationalism, White Supremacy, bigotry, hatred and stupidity. I am a left leaning, progressive liberal. I am even actually a socialist (unlike most American Democrats). If you don't like any of that, you've probably wandered into the wrong part of the internet.

Early on Tuesday, I was hopeful. By Tuesday night, I was afraid. By what would technically have been Wednesday morning, I was depressed. Since then, I've vacillated between acceptance, depression, anger, and denial depending on the moment.

I have spent the week glancing at Facebook, watching my friends react. I see friends who are afraid for their safety. I've seen one old friend calmly doing the math, calculating how long until he dies in agony if the ACA is repealed. I've seen friends defiantly challenging wannabe rapists. 

At home, I've had a long conversation with my son who wants to buy a gun for protection. I'm encouraging him to take a firearms safety course and, once he has some training, if he still wants to have a gun, I told him I have on objections. I also told him that I don't believe it will actually keep him safe.

At the same time, I want to encourage my wife to take a self-defense class.

This has been a week full of fear, grief, pain and anger.

Yeah, it hasn't been a great week.

I've thought a bit about why this happened. How did we get here? Are people... or at least 51% of the American electorate... actually just evil?

I don't know the answers. I have theories, guesses, but no real answers.

Mostly, what I have is a lot of pain. 

I also have a couple of questions. The first is - how do I survive this? The second is - does prioritizing my personal survival make me a bad person? 

A couple years ago, when my illness was new, a wise woman said to me "you have to put your own air mask on first, before helping others." This week, I found myself asking - how is that different from voting for a fascist dictator because you believe he will help your economic wellbeing? 

Well, I think I have an answer I can live with. Yeah, I'm going to take care of myself first, but not at the price of someone else. Putting my air mask on first doesn't mean ripping off someone else's face. It means making sure I have the strength to help both of us.

So, yeah, right now the first thing I've got to do is put my air mask on.

That done, I'm turning to the words of another wise woman - "The world isn't fair, but I can treat people fairly."

I can try to bring a little corner of fairness, love and light into the parts of the world I touch. Maybe, just maybe, if enough of us do that, we can make the world... or at least our part of it... better. Even in these dark days.

I'm going to close with something else that I saw on the internet this week...

Like Steve Rogers says - I can do this all day.

Onward