Week Ending 3/5

 This has been a really weird week. (Am I saying that a lot? I think I am but, hey, it's true.)

Energy-wise this has been one of the best weeks I've had in a long time. I've managed to get models assembled and painted. I've binged watched season seven of Law and Order. (What? I'm feeling nostalgic.) I really feel like I've done a lot.

Emotionally, this week has been a train-wreck. I got into a huge fight with the teenager over him looking for a job (or rather him not looking for a job). I've been irritable, on edge and downright fly-off-the-handle furious. I've felt like I was walking around on eggshells lest I make myself angry and completely lose it. I probably completely lost it at least once.

It took a kind comment from an internet friend over on The Sims forums to remind of the obvious... 

My Gramma Cathy died. 

Now, I'm pretty sure at least some of the (max. four) people who read this blog are a little sick of me bring that up. To them I say - deal with it. Because it turns out to be a pretty big deal.

My Gramma Cathy meant a lot to me and I'm actually really messed by her death. Irritable, on edge, fly-off-the-handle furious, walking on eggshells, messed up.

Funny thing... the first time I admitted this out loud to myself... well, I didn't feel better but I felt... more at peace with it. The walking on eggshells thing, not so much the last couple of days. I've admitted to myself 1) that it happened and 2) that I'm no OK with it. 

Recognizing how emotionally screwed up I am is the first step on the road...

Onward.