I'm honestly having a hard time differentiating this week from last week. They blur together in my mind (my fogged, semi-functional mind). Basically, the same story... health is bad, as bad as it has ever been. Worse than it's been this whole bloody year, going purely by the numbers. Morale is surprisingly good given that little fact. Still, there is no part of this that does not suck.
Forward. The only way is forward. It will be better. I will.
Short version - health bad, morale good
I actually missed two days of work this week, because I was so bloody tired. Should have missed three, but I went in Wednesday (the first day I felt terrible) and hung around despite it being frankly a really bad idea. So, yeah... that's a thing.
On the plus side, my morale is still pretty good. I feel physically horrible but mentally, I'm OK. I'm in a place where I accept that "gosh, I'm actually sick and I need to rest." Stunning, I know.
I've said it before and I'll say it again - I'm an idiot. :)
Onward.
While we're talking about movies I've watched recently... let's talk about Moonfall.
OK, let's start here - I enjoyed this movie. That said, this is not a good movie. This might be a movie that's so bad it's enjoyable. This is a cheesy, weird... I don't even want to call it sci-fi because there is no "sci" here... maybe let's call it a space-themed disaster movie.
It's got great special effects. It's got great characters. It's got horrible, horrible "science" but great disasters. It's even got a great villain, which is not something you usually see in a disaster movie.
It also has a premise so weak that, when we get to the exposition scene in which the all is explained, it seems as if even the character delivering the exposition doesn't believe the nonsense he's babbling... which is either great acting or it was the only take where the poor actor got through it without breaking down laughing.
If you enjoy disaster movies, cool characters, think you have a shot at the Olympic gold metal for Suspension of Disbelief and have about 2 hours of your life with nothing particular to do, there are worse ways to spend those 2 hours.
Why don't we talk about something other than my health for a little...
Thor: Love and Thunder, the latest in the Marvel Cinematic Universe's take on the comic book version of the God of Thunder.
I'll be up front - I don't like Taika Waitiki's take on Thor. I didn't like it in Thor: Ragnarok and I don't like it in Love and Thunder. I much preferred Kenneth Branagh's vision of Thor. Now, please don't understand that I think Thor movies should be all serious and "Shakespearean."
Well, maybe... yeah... Shakespearean is actually good. Because, contrary to popular belief, Shakespeare isn't actually all that serious and stuffy. Shakespeare knew that the best drama needs comedy and the best comedies need drama. Any good Shakespeare play is basically a balance between love, murder and dick-jokes... the precise proportions of each determining if we call it a comedy or a tragedy.
Anyway, I think Kenneth Branagh understood that - the balance between drama and comedy - and applied it well to the first Thor movie.
I don't think Taika Waitiki strikes that balance. It's not just that he leans more heavily into the comedy. He does, but that's not in itself a bad thing. It's that his comedy and drama don't really harmonize.
There is no one thing in Thor: Love and Thunder that I can point to and say "I didn't this movie because..." I'm not even sure I didn't like it... but it doesn't sit well with me, and not in a good way.
Well, I must say this past week has been much better.
While my health is still frankly kind of rotten, but mostly stable around 4-5 functional hours per day. Alas for work, that does not translate into 4 working hours (since the whole getting up in the morning thing takes time). For life though, it's not bad.
More importantly, my morale is significantly improved. I'm feeling better about me, even if I'm still not as healthy or active as I would like. The interesting thing is this leads to me not pushing myself so hard and not stressing out so much, which makes me physically as well as mentally better. I really ought to remember that.
In other news, my Sims story has reached another milestone... not sure if I'm going to call it the end of "Book 2" or not but I found myself writing a really engaging and actually meaningful story. OK, maybe that seems odd given the medium. Still, in my own odd way I've started to think of it as a kind of graphic novel. It has definitely revitalized my love of writing.
If anyone is interested in reading it :) ...
The astute reader of this blog may notice an overall trend over the last few (like four or five) weeks. I am not doing well. My health is poor and my morale is terrible. The worst part of it is the whole chicken/egg thing... do I feel rotten because I'm down or am I down because I feel rotten. Most likely - I feel rotten, so I'm down, so I feel worse, so... yeah, the words vicious cycle pretty much sum it all up.
I'd like to say I'm turning the corner. I'd like to say, have recognized that I am part of the problem I can get out of my own way. I'd like to say that. Well... I'm trying. How about that... I'm trying. After several rotten weeks, I managed to at least be positive about yesterday. Not so much today... but actually, my energy level today isn't horrible. It isn't great but it isn't horrible.
I'm feeling well enough to feel really frustrated about not feeling OK. That's... positive-ish.
Hey, since I haven't shared it in a while... behold my famous chart. Yeah, with the exception of that little medication experiment, not great. But, you know, it's actually looking a little better last week. Not where I want it to be, but looking up.
Onward.
