Week Ending 5/18

Anyone remember how I said that what I felt I needed was a good cry... then I said, no, I'm actually OK.

So, new flash... whenever I say "no, I'm actually OK" it's a big hint that I am NOT OK. 

The good news, I finally had that good cry. Four months and seven days my mom died, I finally cried. I can thank Juno for doing the right thing to get me there. 

Am I OK now, you ask. 

Were you paying attention a couple paragraphs ago? Of course, I'm not OK... but that's actually good. I shouldn't be OK. What I am is a little less numb inside. That's something, and something is better than nothing.

Now if I could just sleep...

Ah well.

Onward

Week Ending 5/11

Well, that was a week. 

I think I overdid it, and I've come down with a cold by the end, but the week started OK. 

I managed to get some minis painted. Here's a picture of them... a trio of Tzaangor Enlightened, oracular bird-men who whisper their foes secrets. I'm rather pleased with the way they came out.

Juno and I managed to get our first successful game of Warcry - a skirmish game based in the same setting of Age of Sigmar, but different enough in terms of game mechanics that our previous tries didn't go well. All in all, now that we have a better grasp of the mechanics, it was fun and we managed to play a whole game in a morning.

After that, the week kind of went downhill. Having overdone it, I was pretty tired the next day and managed to stumble and twist up my toes. You know that thing where your toes get caught on the floor and end up facing the wrong direction? Ouch. My toes turned black, which I found rather impressive. I ended up spending a couple of days with my feet up but that was OK.

So, a couple of days in bed, healing and catching on my streaming shows.

I watched the first seasons of Amazon's Wheel of Time series. As a fan of the books, I tried to go in without too many expectations. I know from long experience that adaptations of novels can be somewhere between "close but different" to "mostly the same names but otherwise completely different." I accept that. I enjoyed David Lynch's 1984 version of Dune, which is certainly in the second category and I enjoyed Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings, which is pretty much the former. 

I felt like Amazon's Wheel of Time started out as "close but different" and the season ends at "mostly the same names but otherwise completely different" ... and unfortunately different enough that I'm just not interested in watching the next seasons. So, that was disappointing. 

Now, I'm watching the first season of NCIS: New Orleans, which is not bad so far (better when they stop doing crossovers with the parent series).

Otherwise, resting. 

Onward

Week Ending 5/4

OK, well... that was a week.

Worked with Juno to send out invitations for mom's memorial service in June. Juno did most of the actual work. I just wrote the invitations. I also talked to the church about what I want for the service, which is "not much." I really liked Gramma Cathy's memorial. It was simple. The family said a few words about her memory. I think the priest said something, but I didn't pay attention and didn't care. They put her ashes in the ground. That was it. That's pretty much my vision for mom's service, so we'll see how that goes when the time comes.

In other news, I sent angry letters to all my congress-critters. Evidently, defunding PBS and NPR was my personal Trump red-line. Not that I support anything he's done, but that was it. That was the line. 

Weird. 

Talked to Juno about it. She's worried that ICE agents are going to show up in her classroom, demanding to drag out a student (or students) and wondered what would happen when she stopped them. I pointed out that they would throw her in jail, and I actually can't take care of myself if she ends up locked up for any length of time. That was a chilling moment. 

We want to stand up for what's right but the simple fear that we could lose everything if we do. Like I said - chilling. We settled on her asking VU what the correct procedure is for an instructor if ICE shows up in the classroom. Because it could happen. It really could happen. 

That leaving aside the worry the Indiana is defunding education and what does that mean for her job. 

It's getting dangerous here.

All we can do is what we can do.

Onward

Week Ending 4/27

Well, it's been an up and down week. 

I'm trying to be positive about things, but it's being a bit of a challenge. I've been having the usual run of good days and bad days but honestly looking at the numbers the good days have been quite good and the bad days not so bad, in terms of raw hours up and active. I managed to get some minis painted and some new terrain pieces built. 

Unfortunately, when I've run out of steam this week, I've crashed hard. Really, really painfully hard. Hence, it being a bit difficult to stay positive. 

I'm trying though. I spent today just resting. I'm hoping that balances things out a little better.

In other news, I said I'd post pictures of the terrain pieces I painted last week, so here they are...

The Merchant's House

The Smithy

The Stables

Finally, the whole village laid out, complete with a field, haystacks and a palisade wall.

So, that's something at least.

Well...

Onward

Week Ending 4/20

Quiet week.

I did a lot of mini painting, finishing up my barbarian village. I'll try to post pictures next week. I also got some writing done and played a couple of games of Age of Sigmar with both D and Juno.

That's really why I didn't post yesterday. I wore myself out.

All in all, a pretty good week. Nothing else much exciting to report.

Onward

Week Ending 4/13

Long week

Monday was rough. Three months since mom died. That hit pretty hard. Then I had the thought... mom wouldn't want me to be depressed. She'd want me to be just a little bit sad, sure. She'd want us to miss her, but she wouldn't want us to be depressed or miserable about it.

I been thinking for ages that what I really needed was a good cry. Gretchen the Grief Counselor (wonderful lady) had suggested looking through old photos. So, I gave that a try. It didn't make me cry. It made me smile. I looked at those pictures and I remembered mom and I smiled. 

She'd want that. She'd want us to remember her and to smile.

The rest of the week was up and down.

Juno had rented a wheelchair for me for an eye doctors' appointment that we ultimately canceled, but it still came in handy. We went the local JoAnn's Fabrics and picked over what was left of their paints. Got some good, odd, colors for minis. I never could have done it, walking. We're looking into getting me a wheelchair to keep. It was nice to get out of the house and actually do something.

Of course, I crashed hard the next day. So hard it hurt. I'm still recovering, and I don't think it was just from the trip out. I'm still pushing myself too hard. Got to watch that.

Long week. Good day and bad days. In the darkest, lowest point, I reminded myself that there are good days too. It keeps me going.

Onward

Week Ending 4/6

Quiet week but not a bad one.

I've worked on a new SimLit story, In Shadow, the first chapter of which went live this week.

I've also done a lot of mini painting. I found a company online called Tabletop Terrain who make 3-D printed wargaming terrain that can be used with Games Workshop games. I picked up some of their products, to see how they were. I actually quite like them and I'm going to show off a little...

A small cottage with piles of hay (and an Age of Sigmar farmer, for scale).

Of course, we also have the barbarian hordes, decorating stone pillars with skulls and an unfortunate sacrifice to their dark gods. 

All in all, the terrain has been fun to paint. I'm currently working on two large houses. 

The only real downside is I've been overdoing it, because I keep wanting to do a little more painting. Not a horrible problem to have.

Well... 

Onward