Week Ending 3/3

My subconscious is not subtle, but on rare occasions it does get the better of me.

Last week I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. I tried to put a brave face on it, but the reality is I have not been coping well.

In fact, in the past week, I manufactured an excuse to quit Facebook after deciding a friend there had betrayed me. Then, a few days later, I came with inches of quitting the Sims forums after deciding a friend there had betrayed me. It's worth noting that, in my current circumstances, Facebook and the Sims forums comprise the sum total of my social contact with actual human beings in the outside world, excluding my mom, my wife and my kid.

So, feeling betrayed and trying to cut myself off from the world. 

I'm also feeling very angry - like in furious rage at little things - and very depressed. 

Did I mention I've not been coping well? 

Yeah.

OK, so let's break this down. I have an illness that has changed my life (Post-COVID Syndrome). I am just getting off of being functionally incapacitated, beyond my normal incapacity, for a month by the flu. Now, I'm diagnosed with another life changing illness (Type 2 Diabetes). My emotional reaction is depression, anger and a feeling of betrayal, leading me to alternately lash out or self-isolate.

You know, that actually tracks. I mean, it's a big deal and it makes sense that I'm having a strong emotional reaction. I should be having a strong emotional reaction to a life changing illness. In reality, this might be a more healthy reaction than my months of denial concerning my Post-COVID Syndrome. 

Meanwhile, I am making changes to my diet... reducing portions, making adjustments to what I eat. The hard part there is really too much information. I've googled Diabetes Diet and everyone seems to have an opinion. I've got a call into my doctor to ask for some advice on good, reliable sources of information on this. Waiting to hear back and doing the best I can until I do. 

The best news is I've got family and friends solidly in my corner, all supportive and helping me (despite my depression, anger and attempts to isolate myself).

So, we're working on this.

Onward. 

Week Ending 2/25

Well that happened...

Had my regular doctor's visit this week. Juno took me out early in the week to get some bloodwork done and I realized it was the first time I'd been out of the house in literally months (and I don't actually know how many months). It was the first time I'd been down the stairs in weeks.

The doctor's visit... well, kinda sucked.

The past couple of years, my bloodwork has shown that my blood sugar levels where in the pre-diabetic range. Well, this week we dropped the "pre" from that. I shouldn't be surprised. The Post-COVID has me housebound and more often than not stuck in bed. My diet has never been great, but add the sedentary lifestyle, a family history of it, and the fact that Post-COVID increases your risk of Type 2 Diabetes and it was only a matter of time. It seems time has caught me at least.

The good news is that my doctor isn't too worried. She wants to start by seeing if we can control it with diet. Smaller portions, less sugar, more veggies.

OK, I'll own it... I'm upset. I like food. I enjoy food. Food is good. Meanwhile, change is bad. I do not like change... and damn it, I'm already sick! I don't need to be more sick. 

... and moving on. I've got Juno my corner and if anyone can make whole wheat bread and spinach salad into something I might actually want to eat, it's Juno. 

I can do this.

Onward

Week Ending 2/18

Another late update. 

I'm actually feeling better than last week but crashed hard yesterday afternoon. 

So, yeah, starting to feel better... or at least better than I was last week. Still not back up to my normal, but recovery takes time. 

The annoying part is that I'm coming off weeks of flu induced brain fog straight into writer's block. I'm struggling with the next part of my Raven's Apprentice story, but I've got one more week drafted that I'm comfortable with and two more weeks that I'm iffy on, but they're written. So, I've got some time...

OK, short update this week. Back to resting

Onward

Week Ending 2/11

 OK, late update and I'm glad I waited.

So, where we left off last time, I had the flu and was improving. That trend held for most of last week. I stayed in bed, didn't push it and improved slowly but steadily. Until the weekend...

My fever, which had been completely gone, spiked to 102.6. At one point my pulse ox (Juno got me the little gizmo and I really have fun with it) dropped to 86, which is low ever from me. (It bounced back to 90 after a minute or so, but it was "impressive" watching the numbers drop like that.) I was literally almost doubled over in pain, roughly every hour on the hour, for some reason. In short, it was Not Fun. This is why I didn't post an update yesterday.

Now the good news. I woke up this morning feeling better than I have felt in a while. My fever broke during the night, my pulse ox reading is actually higher than usual (around 95... my usual is 92) and the pain is mostly gone. 

The cough lingers but honestly, I've had a cough since 2020. 

Oh and here's a thing... there is a reason I've had a cough since 2020. Turns out, coughing dramatically increases blood oxygenation. So, that explains why I cough when I push myself too hard or let myself get worn out. See, I learned something. :) 

Guess what my plan for the week is... yes, I am going to stay in bed, not push it and continue to feel better (or call the doctor if I get worse again... one of the those). 

Onward

Week Ending 2/4

 So, last week I said I was pretty sure I caught D's bug. Well, we can upgrade "pretty sure" to "yeah, I caught it." In fact, we've all caught it.

I've pretty much spent the entire week in bed, being sick. 

Funny thing, I feel terrible physically and great emotionally. I've actually been smiling.

See, the thing about having a cold/flu/Venusian space-virus while being chronically ill is that I know the cold/flu/Venusian space-virus. I know the course it's going to take. I know what I need to do to deal with it and, above all, I know it will end. There is great comfort in that. It's even kind of relaxing.

Fever broke sometime mid-week and I've been on a slow, steady upswing since. 

So, yeah, laying in bed, drinking lots of water, basically taking care of myself. 

Not gonna push it. 

Onward.

Week Ending 1/28

 OK, so what happened this week... 

I discovered that putting the vaporizer on high helps me to sleep better and actually slept great most of the week. 

I stopped watching House MD, mid season 3 because it appears that is the point where I lose interest. Really, I think House would have been a lot better if they had followed the Law & Order model and focused more on the mystery and not the characters. (According to Juno, this is not a new thought on my part... it's been a while since I watched House.)

Juno pointed me to a new show to watch - Elementary (another modern day take on Sherlock Holmes). Four episodes in and I'm enjoying it. However, I don't think it being a modern take on Holmes actually helps it. Holmes is the archetype of the quirky detective... you don't actually need to name your detective Sherlock Holmes to follow that archetype. 

Also, I think modern tellings of Holmes put too much emphasis on his drug use. Yeah, it's an element of the character but not a central one that everyone has to harp on.

OK, so I've been watching a lot of TV this week. 

In other news, D has a cold/flu/coughing-thing. He's been pretty wretched the last few days. He has, kindly, been wearing a mask when around us. Sadly, I think whatever bug he's got was sneakier... 'cause I'm pretty sure I've caught it. Feeling OK-ish, just run down and scratchy throat. Planning on taking it easy for the foreseeable.

So, that's the excitement this week.

Onward.

Week Ending 1/21

Another week goes by...

Started a little rough... hard time sleeping and didn't feel well for a few days, so I mostly spent the week laying around, resting and watching stuff on Streaming. Which, granted, isn't that different from my normal week, just a little more resting and little less doing anything else.

I've rediscovered House, MD and I've been binge watching that. No, it's not lupus. (If you've watched House, you get the joke.) Honestly, since I first saw Hugh Laurie in Blackadder (classic British comedy) I still find it deeply weird to see him as a bitter, misanthropic doctor. 

My other excitement of the week is I finally saw The Marvels. Yeah, I'm behind on the MCU but since watching them in the theater really doesn't work for me, I have to wait for them to come out on streaming. Anyway, I liked The Marvels... and I think I understand why some people didn't.

For those folks who don't spend their days binge watching stuff on streaming, keeping up with MCU shows on Disney+ is probably hard and two of the three main characters are lifted from the shows. That's a good reason for some people to not like the movie.

More telling, I think, is that like Captain Marvel before it, The Marvels is a movie about, by and chiefly aimed at women. Remember how, in the Avengers, they first get together by Iron Man, Captain America and Thor basically beating the crap out of each other... the whole Guy Thing. In The Marvels, Carol, Kamala and Monica get together, talk to each other, share their feelings and spend time learning how to better cooperate and work together... the whole Not-Guy Thing. Plus, there is the random musical number... which is frankly awesome! 

Basically, the usual macho dick-head who just wants to see the Hulk smash things and try to catch a peek of Black Widow's tits isn't going to be a fan of this movie. 

We need more movies for those guys to hate. Really, we do. 

By the way, the whole feeling sick and not sleeping thing from the beginning of the week... feeling a bit better now (touch wood). Still taking it slow, laying around and resting. Besides I'm only halfway through seasons 2 of House.  :)

Onward