Well, 2022 was an interesting trip down De'Nile.
Really, looking back over this blog and glancing through my health journal... it's been illuminating.
I started convinced I was getting better and even made solid plans to return to work part-time. I honestly had every expectation that I'd be working full-time before the end of the year. Yeah, that didn't work out.
I've mentioned a few times my famous chart. Here it is... 2022 year in review. You can pretty clearly see the whole "didn't work out" of it. 
Honestly, if there are two real takeaways from last year the first is the I am an idiot. No matter how many times I told myself "don't do that" or "well, as long as I don't do that I'll be fine" ... I still did it. I insisted that I was "fine." I was, after all, not working too hard. I was only working until I reached the point where I physically collapsed and couldn't go on. (Pro-tip - If you are working until you physically collapse and can't go on... you are working too hard!) Even knowing this and knowing I was still doing it, not only did I not stop, I continued to insist I was fine.
My second big takeaway is that, on the balance, I am actually pretty optimistic. Yeah, I have my moments when I get down. Everyone does and when you're sick constantly, it's hard not to. I have good days and bad days... and I keep working toward the good ones and getting through the bad ones. I'm not going to give up.
So, here I am today. I've stopped working myself into the ground. Yeah, that means I've stopped doing paid work, full stop, but I've got to. I honestly can't work right now. Now I need to focus on me and figuring out how to live under my current conditions. I'm still working on figuring that out but I'll get there.
Onwards.
