Week Ending 3/31

 Quick one this week...

Overall, I'm doing OK. Just sleeping strangely. 

Some nights, my mind is racing and I can't fall asleep. Had one night where I was up late into the night but woke feeling great and was fine that day. Another, I got up in the night and painted some minis but was totally out of it the next day. Other nights, I've slept like a rock (which might have something to do with not getting enough sleep the night before :) ). 

Weirdest night was the one where I was up for hours before of this horrible pain in the left knee. No idea why. I was fine all day, fine when I went to bed and sometime in the night my knee started hurting terribly. Wonderful Juno helped... she rubbed in a little arnica and I was good. Hasn't bothered me since. Weird, right?

So, that's my week. 

Onward

Week ending 3/24

 OK, so I totally missed posting this yesterday but for a positive reason. I was having a good day and had a good week.

So, let's see... a couple of things.

I gave myself permission to have a small piece of white chocolate, as a treat, on evening early in the week. I took a tiny bite off the corner... flavors exploded in my mouth - all the rich complexities of the confection, like I'd never tasted before. I put the rest of the piece away. That one tiny bite was enough. 

Same thing later in the week with an oatmeal cookie. Juno made some from dough we had in the fridge from "before." I thought, make the cookies little and I can have a couple, but it will really only be the same as one. As an occasional treat, I figured it would be OK. Again, one tiny bite, an explosion of flavor and it was so, so very sweet. I couldn't eat any more of it. 

So, that's interesting. 

Other fun stuff... I mentioned last week, among all the changes, Games Workshop was coming out with a new edition of Age of Sigmar. If you don't recall, Age of Sigmar is a tabletop miniatures wargame which all three of us play. 

Now, GWs business model is to release a new edition every three years or so, just because. Since the current edition is Age of Sigmar is... well, not perfect, but fun to play, well balanced (All the factions have a roughly equal chance of winning. Seriously, they do a massive statistical analysis based on feedback from game tournaments around the world) and generally a great game. So, they announced they're throwing out all the rules and starting over scratch because... basically they don't have any other excuse to update the current rules. 

So, I won't be getting the new edition... because why would I? I like the current game and I don't play in tournaments. Which means I don't have to change my game. Which means that's one life change that I can take control of and not do. That is a fantastic feeling. 

So, all in all, a good week.

Onward

Week Ending 3/17

Daylight Savings Time sucks.

Funny cat story...

Juno feeds the cats every night at the same time. Naturally, Hippy (D's cat) knows exactly when that time is (or should be) and naturally she starts reminding Juno that it's almost time for dinner at least a half hour beforehand. 

The first two nights after DST, Hippy was napping quietly right up to the point that Juno's "feed the cats" alarm went off and had to woken up. Clearly, the cat does not understand DST any better than I do.

So, on the third night, Juno was out late at a campus group meeting. She and D agreed that she wouldn't be that late, and since Hippy clearly didn't get the time change, unless she was screaming about it, Juno would feed Hippy when she got home. 

Of course, no one told me or Hippy about this plan. So, come feeding time, I'm sitting in bed, working my laptop. Hippy hops up, lays down next to me and gives me a Look. Somehow, without a single sound, this Look perfectly conveys the statement: "I know this isn't your fault, because you don't feed me, but it's dinner time and no one is getting my food. I just don't understand." 

So, after reaching out to D (who explained The Plan), I got up and fed the cat... just as Juno arrived home.

Daylight Savings Time sucks... even if you're a cat. :)

How am I doing? 

Well, one night I took my morning pills for the next day instead of my evening pills. So, yeah, Daylight Savings Time sucks.

Still getting handle on the new diet. 

Good days. Bad days. 

The worst of it? It seems like everything is changing all at once. In the past few weeks, I've been diagnosed with another life changing illness, the Sims forums announced they're closing/moving to a new forum, EA messed with the Sims community by adding a pointless shopping cart to the game and kicking off a shit storm of fan protests, Games Workshop announced the new edition of Age of Sigmar... 

Yeah. Alright. I'm not that OK.

I'm managing.

Onward

Eureka - A Fan Theory

Eureka...

Eureka was a quirky Sci Fi Channel show that ran from 2006 to 2012, about a fairly ordinary guy who found himself sheriff a town full of super-science geniuses, and whose commonsense wisdom was usually the solution to whatever crisis-of-the-week got cooked in the labs. It was light, funny, weird, sometimes poignant and almost always fun. 

If you haven't watched it, and can find it, I highly recommend it. It's a little dated in places (a surprising amount has changed since 2006) but it's still good.

I happen to have several seasons on DVD (Juno picked them up somewhere) and, casting around for something to watch other than Law & Order (which can get a little heavy), I popped them in. 

Now to my fan theory, which struck me last night when I found myself awake at 3:00 AM.

Spoilers for those who care...

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A major plot point in the first three seasons of Eureka is The Artifact... a mysterious Something kept in a secret lab in the town's research center. Variously referred to as a complete unknown, a relic of the universe before this one and a link to the Akashic Records... the Artifact is the driver of the overall plot, such as it is, that runs behind the show's crisis-of-the-week. It is also connected to Kevin, the severely autistic son of one of the main characters (this being one of the places where the show is dated). 

Then, starting in season 4, the Artifact is never mentioned again. It's absence from the story is never explained. It is literally never mentioned again, despite its earlier importance. 

Season 4 is kind of a re-boot to the show anyway. The first episode involves the main cast traveling back in time, inadvertently changing everything and having to figure out how to live in the new timeline. One of the major changes is that Kevin suddenly isn't autistic. It is even suggested, by the characters, that Kevin somehow engineered events to "cure" his autism. 

So, here's my theory. Let's say Kevin did engineer the new timeline to cure his autism. What's different? 

No Artifact! 

What if Kevin changed the timeline to prevent the discovery of the Artifact? What if the Artifact actually somehow caused him to be neurodivergent as a way for him to connect with it and unlock its secrets. 

No Artifact. Neurotypical Kevin. 

Doesn't really explain why none of the original timeline folks ever mentions the Artifacts absence, but I don't really thing this was the showrunners plan... just my own fan theory that explains a plot hole that has been bugging me for a while. :)

(Sidenote: This could also mean that Dr. Grant, the Eureka founder who "accidently" traveled forward in time to join the main cast (played be Sci Fi Channel's "please save our series" James Callis) might be the guy who discovered the Artifact and removing him from the past was the whole plan.)

Just a fan theory... but if I can't share those on my blog, what's the point of having a blog? :)

Week Ending 3/10

 Last week, I talked about how I'm not dealing well with this whole diabetes thing. Well, this week has been better.

I finally got in to see the doctor and ask her some questions. It was a good conversation and made me feel better about things. Importantly, the changes I've been making to my diet have been the right ones. It's still difficult... eating less, eating differently and cutting out sweets... but I'm working on it. 

Emotionally, I'm getting to a better place. Recognizing and acknowledging my feelings helped. I'm not going to say "I'm feeling totally fine about things" because I'm not, but I am in a better place. 

Sometimes that's enough. 

Onward

Week Ending 3/3

My subconscious is not subtle, but on rare occasions it does get the better of me.

Last week I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. I tried to put a brave face on it, but the reality is I have not been coping well.

In fact, in the past week, I manufactured an excuse to quit Facebook after deciding a friend there had betrayed me. Then, a few days later, I came with inches of quitting the Sims forums after deciding a friend there had betrayed me. It's worth noting that, in my current circumstances, Facebook and the Sims forums comprise the sum total of my social contact with actual human beings in the outside world, excluding my mom, my wife and my kid.

So, feeling betrayed and trying to cut myself off from the world. 

I'm also feeling very angry - like in furious rage at little things - and very depressed. 

Did I mention I've not been coping well? 

Yeah.

OK, so let's break this down. I have an illness that has changed my life (Post-COVID Syndrome). I am just getting off of being functionally incapacitated, beyond my normal incapacity, for a month by the flu. Now, I'm diagnosed with another life changing illness (Type 2 Diabetes). My emotional reaction is depression, anger and a feeling of betrayal, leading me to alternately lash out or self-isolate.

You know, that actually tracks. I mean, it's a big deal and it makes sense that I'm having a strong emotional reaction. I should be having a strong emotional reaction to a life changing illness. In reality, this might be a more healthy reaction than my months of denial concerning my Post-COVID Syndrome. 

Meanwhile, I am making changes to my diet... reducing portions, making adjustments to what I eat. The hard part there is really too much information. I've googled Diabetes Diet and everyone seems to have an opinion. I've got a call into my doctor to ask for some advice on good, reliable sources of information on this. Waiting to hear back and doing the best I can until I do. 

The best news is I've got family and friends solidly in my corner, all supportive and helping me (despite my depression, anger and attempts to isolate myself).

So, we're working on this.

Onward.